Her Name was Freya
by StarWritingFlute200
Summary: How I thought a certain scene in 5X11 should have gone, so spoilers!


**A/N: Just another one shot of how I thought this scene should've been between Merlin and Mordred. Please don't be too harsh, I'm not the best at Merlin fanfiction and I wrote this rather quickly. Enjoy!**

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"You can't." He whispered to the boy desperately wanting him to just believe him. The words were barely a whisper, his energy was directed to stopping his thoughts from overwhelming him.

Mordred was too angry to listen, "Tell me you wouldn't do the same, for the woman you love." He couldn't say that. The memories were fully there now, her beautiful eyes, long flowing hair, and her sweet breath dying in his arms. They were supposed to run away together and it hadn't worked out, running away never did.

"Don't be foolish," Merlin attempted to be strong, he may even have come across as uncaring, but Mordred needed to know Merlin's past. He needed to be stopped.

"You see, you cannot," Mordred stated and Merlin knew it was the truth.

As Mordred began to turn away Merlin whispered, "I already did." He stopped and quickly turned around in obvious shock. All his anger dissipated in the simple statement.

"What?" He asked seeming as though he couldn't connect the idea in his mind. It must have been churning with all the possibilities, but Merlin put a stop to them.

"There was a time when I too believed I could save the girl I loved by running away," Merlin admitted. He could practically feel her soft kiss on his lips, even after all these years. He wanted nothing more than for her to be alive today and for there to actually be a girl that Gwen could say he was sneaking out to see.

For a moment Mordred held his breath, "What happened?" Merlin felt tears brim on his eyelids and looked Mordred straight in the eye. The druid looked so young and foolish; Merlin vaguely wondered if he had looked like that.

"She died, that's what happened. You can't run away from some things. I tried and she was killed; she died in my arms, Mordred. Do you know how that feels? Would you like to hold Kara in your arms as she breathes her last breath of air?" Merlin's voice had grown into a shout. His thoughts had become a jumbled mess of the time he had spent with the love of his life. It hurt so much to think of their brief time together, he had never felt so happy. Now Mordred stood before him in a similar position looking shocked by the revelation.

"I had no idea. I never realized," Mordred stuttered trying to find the right words. There were no right words for a situation like this.

"No one ever does," he sighed feeling much older than he actually was. A single tear found a path rolling down his cheek.

Mordred wiped his own eyes, "You were going to run away from your destiny?"

Merlin nodded, "I was willing to give it all up just for her. There was nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe, but I learned that running away never works. I learned the hard way, and I don't want you to make the same mistake."

"Then what will we do, it'll be just as pointless to let her be killed then to run away and have her be killed. I don't want her to die," the boy told Merlin fiercely.

"We'll appeal to Arthur again, this time we'll do it together. If we can't save her that way, then we'll make sure she gets as far away as she can. If you go with her though, things could go wrong. For now at least," Merlin told him knowing that they could be together after the war on magic was over. Mordred was needed here so Morgana couldn't get to him.

Obviously, Kara and Mordred weren't in the exact situation he had been in, but all the same, they couldn't just leave. Maybe if Arthur were to show Kara enough compassion they'd both be allowed to stay in Camelot. It was the best scenario they could hope for right now.

Nodding he and Mordred began to walk back to Arthur's chambers finally Mordred asked, "Merlin, what was her name?"

The flood of memories that had been whirling through his mind now came to a halt. One moment came into his mind her soft voice was all he could hear. She had been so scared and so fragile from so many years of pain and suffering. Merlin wanted to only listen to that voice over and over again. It was like the sweetest honey to him.

"Freya, her name was Freya."


End file.
